To our family and friends:
Happy Holidays! We've had quite the year here at the McFabulous house. Every year I wonder if the next year will be as good as the last. This year was no exception, knock on brand new granite counter tops! I'm sure you're wondering what our precious angel darlings are up to, so without further ado:
Allister (18) - It's been a whirlwind year for him, what with winning the Nobel Prize for Physics and the National Spelling Bee. I had to give up my Louis Vuitton purse room so sweet little Allister-kins could study. The sacrifices we make for our children are never-ending, are they? Allister decided to accept Harvard's offer of a full scholarship, even though the offers from Stanford and Princeton were quite appealing as well. But we couldn't pass up having a library named after our little boy! The solid gold plaque dedicating the library to Allister is a little tacky if you ask me (see attached photo). I told them that platinum would be perfectly acceptable; we're not showy people. But you know how Harvard can be!
Buffy (14) - Hard to believe our sweet little princess is in high school already! Of course, it won't take her long to graduate, not with all the advanced placement classes she's taking. She handles her classes pretty well and has found time to audition for Julliard as well. I keep telling her not to take on so much but I admit it was a proud moment when our beautiful Buffy won this year's Miss Teen America (see attached photo). She has to decide whether she wants to wear the diamond tiara or the sapphire tiara at her various Miss Teen America functions. Sometimes she's downright stressed, wondering which tiara to choose. It's tough as parents, isn't it, to see our precious babies going through hard times. But I keep telling her "That's life, sweet little heart of my own heart, that's life."
Victoriana (12) - Our other little princess really enjoyed being an ambassador to the UN this year. We weren't sure if she was ready or not but the UN pleaded their case, as Victoriana is fluent in ten languages. We acquiesced and her gifted teacher told us she would be able to make up her work. It was a little tough for our youngest after Buffy won Miss Teen America even though we assured her that qualifying for the US Olympic Croquet team was no small feat for a 12 year old. But you know how siblings are!
As for me and Preston, we're still madly in love after all these years! Of course, our monthly vacations to Fiji (see attached photo) certainly help to set a romantic mood. Don't think life is all roses for us though. We had a scary situation in August when we got into a little fender-bender in Paris. How frightening! Luckily, our Porsche had just a teensy tiny little dent in it but we certainly have a new appreciation for life after that.
We finished up our busy year dancing our cares away at the Governor's Ball (thanks Mitzy darling for inviting us!). I have to say it was quite an honor meeting the President and First Lady (see attached photo) and they could hardly tear themselves away from a little slide show we put together of the children. Thank goodness we had a back up iphone - Preston's battery died after only 4 hours! How embarrassing! It was a lovely evening and a wonderful way to ring in the New Year.
Hope you all have a joyous holiday!
Love, the McFabulous Family (see attached photo)
Once, just once, wouldn't you like to read a letter like this:
Happy Holidays! We've had quite the year here at the Smith house. Things aren't exactly wonderful but they could be a lot worse and we're thankful for that.
Barney Jr (18) - Our oldest was accepted at Billy Joe Bob's Community College. Whew! What a relief! We did have to write a letter to the admissions office explaining the 7-11 incident but all is clear now. Of course, it will be a little tougher in college for Barney Jr after that unfortunate hunting accident left him with only two fingers on his right hand. I didn't even realize it was possible to shoot yourself with a rifle! We're also pretty sure we have a grandchild on the way although the paternity test hasn't come back yet. It was quite exciting to be on the Maury Povich show. What a thrill! All in all, we're proud of Barney Jr, provided he doesn't keep spending most his days at the dog track. But he has a head for investments, so who can blame him?
Maybelle (14) - She is quite the reader (she's finished all of the Captain Underpants Series) and this looks like her year to finally make it through fifth grade. Bless her heart, she tries her best. Some crayons just aren't meant to be the sharpest in the box, though. She has been busy though, collecting all of our beer can tabs and making things with them. To me it just looks like she glued a bunch of them to a piece of paper but it's good to have a hobby I suppose.
Larry (12) - Well, it wasn't the best year for our Larry. After getting suspended from school 4 times this fall, he set fire to our garage. It wouldn't have been so bad except for all the vodka and deer meat. Boy, that's a smell you'll never forget!
As for us, Barney and I are still married. Separate bedrooms certainly help. Despite my record breaking gallstones (see attached photo), we're still planning on heading off for a little vacation in January. I heard the Motel 6 now has top sheets so that's something to look forward to. Also, Barney is off on parole for the holidays this year so it will be quite festive. My mother-in-law is also staying with us but after the Thanksgiving gravy episode (she swears she wasn't deliberately trying to poison us, although I do wonder how she mistook antifreeze for broth), I'll be cooking Christmas dinner. I saw a recipe to mold Spam into the shape of a turkey so I think this will be the best holiday feast ever!
Thank goodness for boxed wine, am I right?
Love, the Smith Family
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