365

Yesterday we celebrated Talitha's Gotcha Day - the day we got her in China.

It's been quite the year. Tali went from a very small, quiet child who could not stand on her own to a not quite as small, very vocal child who chases her older siblings around the house.


Talitha's referral picture (when she was named Wu Rubei, or Peggy):

One of the first pictures the orphanage had of her - 4 months old.

The day we got Tali:

She was laughing at Jack, naturally.

On the way to officially adopting her in China

 She was very quiet in China - so many changes for her. Once we got home, the real Talitha began to emerge. Slowly but surely - the meek, subdued, weak baby transformed into a strong and mighty little girl.

Walking! 22 months old - 6 weeks home.

This was a common occurrence - still is but now they're older, so there's more screaming and pushing.

She came to us at a mere 15 lb - the size of a 9 month old when she was almost 2. She gained 1 pound the first week we had her in China, most of that was probably all noodles. She gained another 4 in the first few months and is now holding steady at a little over 20 lbs.

The day after we came home - Noah was flummoxed, Tali was such a baby in this picture!

6 months home - swinging their legs and laughing

One year home - could not get them to keep still for anything.

Last night we had a small celebration for Talitha's one year home-aversary. I made Chinese food and had the parents over. Tali, being the guest of honor, didn't eat dinner with us. Instead she walked around the house and didn't mosey over to the table until the fortune cookies were brought out.

Fine, we'll just take a picture without you.

She picked at her food and kept gesturing towards the fortune cookies.

She has changed so much over the past year - our whole family has. She has learned to stand, to walk, to run. She has learned to understand us and is growing in her language skills everyday. She is a mighty one to behold sometimes - Shakespeare surely had Tali in mind when he penned 'Though she be but little, she is fierce.' She can raise a storm over your head if she is upset. She gets in Noah's face (though a head taller than her), points her tiny finger and lets him have it in her high-pitched Chingrish. Her tantrums have eased over the past year, which is good news for everyone. She loves noodles, scrambled eggs, and Pooh Bear, dislikes plain water and being crowded out by a very huge Noah. When she gets upset, her nose bleeds - she throws all she has into letting someone know she is displeased.

There have definitely been some trying times for all of us but so many moments of sweetness and grace, having her in our lives and filling an emptiness in our family we didn't know was there. Jack and Tali have found kindred spirits in each other, Kate has a long-awaited and treasured little sister, Noah has lifelong friend, Matt and I have a cherished daughter.

365 days of Talitha Ruby.

365 days of learning to walk, learning to talk, learning to trust.

365 days of being a family.

365 days of forever.

Mama's Back, Jack

Matt's been out of town for a few days on a business trip. Earlier this week, I dropped the kids off at my mom's house so I could have a couple fun-filled days to myself.

I'm kidding, of course.

The leadership class I'm taking for my BSN degree requires clinical hours so my classmates and I helped out with my college's summer camp for middle schoolers. In theory, it was for kids interested in health careers. In reality, most of the kids were there because their moms made them sign up. And, as we all know, nothing is more fun than entertaining kids who don't want to be there. If being a youth group leader taught me anything, it was that.

At first I was so excited about the whole thing because I was going to have Monday night all by myself at the house. I could go dancing or buy antiques or do a 5k through some sort of interesting material (mud, food coloring, perfume, floam...). The sky was the limit.

I don't know why I get my hopes up about these things.

In the end, I cleaned a little and did homework. Woohoo, indeed. I had dinner at my in-laws, which was also novel, being there by myself. Matt's dad suggested some background noise of children screaming and discipline being meted out. You know, just to make it feel more normal.

The few days leading up to it I waffled about pigging out on some fantastic food. After all, being able to eat whatever you want is honestly one of the few great things about being an adult. Well, that and finally growing into your adult teeth. That's always a relief, not to be forever stuck with teeth too big for your head.

Monday's dessert was steamed edamame and red wine. As it turns out, I'm pretty boring by myself.

When I got home from college on Tuesday, my mom and the kids were there. The little ones were happy to see me. Pretty soon, though, the cold, hard, reality of mom being home set in for an unsuspecting Noah. At one point, I held him in my lap after a few screaming fits (him externally, me internally). He rubbed his eyes with his chubby little hand and told me "Mama, I want you to go to work. I want you to go to school."

The fact that my mom brought with her foods with an approximate sugar content of the country of Brazil had nothing to do with it, I'm sure.

Today was a little rough, considering the transition my kids made from a grandparent wonderland filled with movies and Fruit Loops back to a house of schoolwork and child labor. Jack told me he needed about 5 minutes to just rest and remember certain things that he had already forgotten in his 3 day absence, things like unloading the dishwasher and checking to see if the lid was on the carton of milk before carrying it sideways to the fridge (hint: it was not).

Later on in the afternoon, a delivery guy showed up with a package from Amazon (seeing those boxes makes my heart go pitter-pat). I saw him pull up and met him in the driveway, Talitha on my hip. The guy said immediately, "Wow, she is adorable."

Yup, I know.

Then after a minute of small talk and the handing off of the package, he said "Really, she is so cute. How can you stand it?"

Well, to be honest, I'm flipping out right now. I'm just really good at hiding it.

Then he said "Bye, sweetheart."

And I said goodbye back, pretty much at the same time I realized he was talking to Tali. This is going to be tough, as I am used to being the adorable one. Transitions.

Random Ramblings

Adults Not Needed

The other day while I was working, Matt and the kids watched Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves. Matt told me that he asked the older two what they would do if Mom and Dad weren't at home for a weekend.

Kate: I would probably clean a bit. And eat healthy food. Well, a little sugary food but not much. Not like those kids (in the movie) were eating."

Jack: I would do a little less homeschooling than usual."

So basically their adult-free weekend would consist of cleaning and some light schoolwork.


Ol' Curly Toe

A couple months ago, I was playing This Little Piggy with Tali and I noticed one of her toes bent under another toe. Here, I'll just show you the picture because I'm sure you're confused (not you specifically, the rest of the readers. You are a shining example of intelligence and wit. Not like the rest of them - you know who I mean):

So today I took her to a pediatric orthopedic clinic to have it checked. Apparently it's congenital thing where the tendon is too short. They might cut it in a quick, 10 minute surgery next year. Or some other time. Orthopedics are a fairly blase group of people when it comes to curly toes.

The doctor and her assistant walked into the room and stop.

Dr: "Oh my gosh, isn't she the cutest thing in the world?"
Asst: "Yes, she is. So cute!"

Me: "Ladies, please. You're embarrassing me. I don't even have makeup on or anything. Stop."

They then proceeded to grill me on her history.

Dr:. "Family history of blah, blah, blah?"

I shrug.

Dr: "How long has her toe been like this?"

I shrug more emphatically.

Dr: "She's so little. Was she premature?"

Me: "Listen, I'm going to stop you right there. All of my answers to those types of questions will be a shrug."

In other news, she's still holding steady at about 20 lbs - my fiesty, little, curly toed girl.


Purple Haze

Just when you think you've gotten through one embarrassing stage of parenting, another one rears its humiliating head. Noah is often without his underwear, either from getting damp or becoming misplaced. Thankfully, Kate's little tushie is about the same size as Noah's shapely one. So more often than not, he is sporting a pair of hers. I don't think about it much. Well, I didn't until yesterday.

We were at small group, all of us adults sitting in the living room while the kids were off playing and watching movies and poking each other with sticks. Noah came into the living room holding his underwear and shorts, having recently visited the bathroom. A hush fell over the room as he waved his purple girl panties towards me. So I felt I had to explain the situation. Much as I had to a year or two ago, when the last pacifiers in the store were pink and purple and we proudly used those until, inevitably, they were lost. Noah? He's just keeping it real.

The Days Are Just Filled...

On Wednesday we had Tali's 6 month follow up cardiology appointment. She had another echo and ekg and our sweet cardiologist said everything looked good but that Tali had to go home with a Halter monitor, which straps on her chest and captures her rhythm for 24 hours, just to make sure the surgery didn't cause any arrhythmias and such.

She did great through the echo and the technicians kept commenting on it but I'm pretty sure relaxing on a pillowed table watching Mickey Mouse and getting slathered with warm gel sure beats whatever she got in China. By the time they started sticking on the tabs for the EKG, she had had enough. She kept saying "No" forcefully in her sweet little tinny voice.

A couple weeks ago Jack asked me to email our cardiologist to ask her if she could please see if there was a pediatric heart surgeon available to talk with Jack. Have I mentioned how much I love our doctor? She told Jack that there was a heart surgeon whose case was canceled that morning and he was waiting for us. How awesome is that? We trooped across the street to the main hospital and made our way to the doctors' building.

The surgeon was super sweet and kind, taking lots of time to answer Jack's questions. Apparently our cardiologist told the surgeon about Jack's surgical tools and he asked to see them. Jack pulled them out of the diaper bag and spread them on his desk. He went through each one, showing Jack how to use them. He and Jack discussed oxygen distribution to the various organs and how much education is involved in becoming a surgeon. My favorite part was when he went through the questions and got to "What's your favorite part about your job?" and he got this look of contentment on his face and stated "When the patient wakes up after surgery and they get to go home with their families and live their life." That is good stuff.

He made Jack promise to come back to visit every year and keep him informed of how he was doing in his quest to become a surgeon. This guy is one of the good ones.

The surgeon was really smiley, I just didn't capture it.

We ate lunch at the hospital's Chik-Fil-A (Jack about had a coronary about a fast food place in a hospital) but we made it better by sharing fries and nuggets and drinking water. Looking forward to meeting him every year at Tali's appointment!

Later that day we had small group at our house. As soon as people were filtering in, a friend in the group pointed out the fact that Noah had no underwear on and was walking around with...evidence of a certain body function hanging from his behind. We rushed to get him cleaned up. I'm in the bathroom, desperately cleaning water and toilet paper off the floor and wiping down the toilet seat with Lysol (Noah tries to get to the toilet and it gets a little sloppy) while I am calling out a welcoming greeting to people coming in. Oh, and the septic was still sluggish from all the rain we've had so it was hard to hide the evidence.

Later in the evening we noticed Tali had wiggled out of her diaper and was strolling around the group members cool and free. We are just classy like that. I began the day shaking hands with a heart surgeon and ended it chasing toddlers around with baby wipes. Yes indeed.

Half a Year Home

6 months.

It's been 6 months since we scooped up a tiny little girl on the other side of the world and promised to love her for always.

Sometimes I look at the pictures of before we adopted her, right after we adopted her, and now and cannot believe how she's changed.

The referral picture - the very first time we saw her sweet face.

Right after her heart surgery in Shanghai (July 8). She looked so forlorn and alone. Her face haunted me when I tried to sleep at night. I would whisper to her "We're almost there, Tali. We're almost there."

One of the last pictures we got before we left for China. This was the end of July.

When we first met her, I was struck by how little she was, how frail. She couldn't walk or stand on her own at 21 months. She gorged on food if we didn't parcel out the noodles or fruit or whatever. She loved tentatively.

Oh how Talitha Ruby has grown. We've watched her transform from a thin baby who guarded her heart so fiercely to a toddler - a little girl! - who runs on her almost chubby legs to the arms of a parent, a brother, a sister, where a hug and kiss is reciprocated with laughter. 

The first few months were a big learning curve, much like bringing home your first newborn. I never ever knew if I was doing anything right but prayed that God would fill in the gaps of my parenting. There have been a lot of struggles with attachment and putting love into action even when the emotion is not there. Sometimes it's so real and so right and she reaches up to pat my face or kisses me with her eyes closed tight with anticipation. Sometimes it's not. It just isn't. But everyday I make the choice, over and over and over again, to love. To mother. To be present.

The last few months have still been difficult but there is so much sweetness, so many moments where it is obvious that she has chosen to love us. To be a daughter and sister. She engages us, she grabs our faces and demands we look her in the eyes and connect. She smiles and scowls, she throws fits and gives long hugs and pats on the back. 

The last three pictures were taken today - I wanted to have the most recent pictures for her 6 month update. Yes, they were taken in the bathroom while Noah sat on the potty and made random observations in an attempt to get out of peeing.

I can see that Talitha's changed a lot over the past 6 months but these next two pictures were really astounding. Noah has changed too, of course. But Tali? A different person.

The week we came home, September 2013

Six months home, February 2014

And for the next 6 months and then rest of our lives together? I can't hardly wait.

Cake and Waffles

Today Talitha turned two. It's a momentous day in our family, most likely the first birthday for her that has been celebrated and her initiation into a presents and cake and togetherness that is birthdays.

She has transitioned so well into our family that sometimes I quite forget that she hasn't been here from the beginning. The other day I mused about the fact that Matt and I are brunette and yet all of our kids are blond and I completely forgot that Tali was Chinese. The funny thing is, I think she favors Kate. Little and flexible with Elfin ears. She's the Asian Katie.

Sadly, Matt had to leave yesterday for training so Tali's party was sans Daddy. I made Lo Mein and Honey Sesame Chicken and never did I miss Matt more than when Tali and Noah were each grabbing onto a leg, screaming and crying while I stirred the vegetables. I struggled my way over to the fridge and pulled the ketchup bottle out of the door. That's when I realized that the bottle of caramel ice cream topping had spilled. All over the shelf. On all the bottles, dripping down the back and sides of the fridge door. While the screaming toddlers competed over who could wail the loudest despite roiling bubbles of snot on their faces.

Complete and utter despair of the soul.

The birthday dinner was quite nice. My parents came early and Dad immediately began wrestling with the toddlers while my mom passed out tiny chocolate muffins. It was like Ed McMahon passing out checks.

Matt's parents and my older sister and her fiance came as well. It was wonderful. The food turned out ok, despite my offsprings' best attempts to thwart it. We lit the candle and sang happy birthday and immediately Tali stuck out her lip to cry. I really think the whole thing scared her. I'm sure it was her first time experiencing the whole birthday thing. Which is rather odd, to be sure. A whole bunch of people encircle you, singing in unison, while we place a lit stick of wax in your face.

Face of confusion and terror. The big siblings stepped in to provide comfort. Out the the view of the camera, Noah is staring at the cake and thinking "Shut up with all the singing and serve me, peasants."

 The gifts were a huge hit with the little ones. Noah unwrapped Tali's presents with enthusiasm and cried "Mine!" repeatedly while she admired the Christmas tree lights. I think he's suddenly happy to have Talitha as a sister. His birthday is in July, hers in December. Every 6 months, Noah gets presents - hooray!

She's super serious when she eats. Really - don't bother her when food is involved.

Birthday waffles! Again, no smiling with the food.

Katie was sad that her cupcake didn't have a lot of frosting. Complete despair of the soul.

I let Noah sleep with me last night since Matt was gone. Then Tali wandered in with her little lovey blanket (thanks Deb!) so she got into bed. The big kids came in and we all hugged Tali and said happy birthday. Jack and Kate sang a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday Dear Talicakes!" and we had waffles. I kept trying to get pictures of Tali and her gifts but she doesn't stop moving so most of them are a blur. I had a little birthday playdate with my two friends and their kids. We finished off the day with baths and a chapter of Secret Garden.

Happy Birthday, sweet little Miss Talicakes. I hope you sleep well tonight, in your own crib surrounded by dolls and handmade blankets - with a peace in your soul that you belong to us.