Random Ramblings

Famous Smamous

The other night Matt and I were watching Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show and Jennifer Lopez was on. The blouse she was wearing was unfortunate in that it seemed to be missing the top few buttons. How embarrassing!

Matt remarked that it must be difficult for Jimmy Fallon to interview her when she's dressed that like. I said that it's certainly not the most risque outfit she's worn. Matt nodded thoughtfully and then said "Who is she again?" Even after I said "Jennifer Lopez," there wasn't much glimmer of recognition.

I've mentioned before how funny Matt's almost complete lack of pop culture knowledge is. You do not want this guy on your team if you're trying to get him guess the tune to a popular song in Cranium or when the entertainment card comes up in Trivial Pursuit. Want to know how to change oil or brakes on your car? Ask Matt. Want to go on a competitive bike ride with virtually no chance of leisurely enjoying the lovely surroundings? Ride along with Matt. Have a question about how to invest your money or what to do with your 401K? Matt is your man.

But if you can't remember who Chris Martin dated after he uncoupled with Gwyneth Paltrow, don't bother (Answer: J Law of course). You will have to explain each of those people in great detail and not even get your answer.

I imagine us in Maui, bumping into celebrities (so I'm going to Hawaii with unrealistic expectations. Whatev.). We're biking down a volcano and stop for waffles halfway down the mountain. While pouring syrup on my waffles, I notice that Jay-Z and Beyonce sat down next to us.

We'll strike up a conversation (I'll be totally cool because celebrities just aren't that big of a deal to me and Matt will be cool because he'll think they're regular people):

Matt will be like, "So what do you guys do for a living?"

"You're singers, huh? Both of you? Like in a band? What kind of music do you play - rock, hip hop, folk?"

See? Completely cool.

Lord of the Runs

This Saturday I went on a run with a friend of mine. I've always run alone before and now I know why. My friend Kristie is the type of runner one might see in an ad for Champion or something. The day before our run, I even looked up articles on how to run faster on a long run. You know, because I had so much time to prepare.

As soon as she took off next to me, I knew I was in trouble. It was a faster pace than I was used to and we were planning on doing 12 miles.

At first, my plan was to stay with her. I kept telling myself things like "You can do this! You're amazing! Yay me!"

She quickly blazed ahead, her ponytail bouncing jauntily behind her, taunting me.

I told myself that I just needed to keep Kristie in my sight. I was like Gimli chasing Aragon over the hills of Middle Earth - "Just got to keep breathing, that's the key."

"Alright, so you couldn't keep up. You're still doing ok. Running is hard."

Eventually I told her to just go on ahead. The plan at that point was to just finish my run on the same day as Kristie.

And you know what? I totally nailed it.