Maui: The Last of It

Well, this is the end. Of the Hawaii recap, that is. We really enjoyed our trip and when people ask us what the best part was, we answer "Not having the kids." And the feeling was mutual. Of the four kids, only Katie missed us. Her tender-hearted little self would burst into tears if anyone even mentioned the words "Mommy and Daddy." Jack could barely pull himself away from the pantry of sugary treats to speak on the phone to us and right after we came home, Noah asked when we were going back to Hawaii so he could go back to Grandma and Grandpa's.

Hawaii was stunning but we're not sure we'd go back. Maybe if the kids want to when they're teenagers or something. The wild parts of Maui were so much fun to drive through and explore but driving through the towns looked about like many Florida beach towns. There's just so many other places in the world I want to go: Rome, Greece, Madagascar, Indonesia, the parts of Mexico in which I won't get shot, etc.

But it is beautiful and I'm so very glad Matt and I got to spend a week there together. On the last day, we walked around the resort for the last time and checked out of our room. That was noon and our flight wasn't until about 5 so we settled in some lobby chairs for a little reading time. Soon after, we got a text update from the travel company to say that our flight was delayed until 8pm. An hour later, it was 9:45 pm. Soon, midnight.

To say that we were panicking would be an understatement. We had no hotel room, our rental car was due back later that day and we were already tired, looking forward to 11 hours of flying. Plus, we knew that if we were much later, the grandparents would be dropping the kids off at our house whether we were back or not. When that flight was then pushed even further, until 1 pm the next day, we called the airline.

"No, no, " they said, "we moved you to a different airline and you're confirmed on the 9:20 pm flight tonight."

That was a relief but I strongly suspected that Matt's dad had called the airline upon hearing the delay - "You get those two on a flight today or so help me..."

We drove around Maui, had fish tacos at a famous local restaurant, and went to the newly opened Target. It's the first one there and people were going crazy. It was like black Friday. (The big kids laughed when I told them how crowded Target was. They can't imagine a world without Target. And really, neither can I).

I was chatting with an employee and she apologized for the weather (which was rainy that morning) and for us not being able to spend a lot of time on the beach. I told her it was ok, we were from Florida so there's lots of sun there and we have a pool to swim in. She said "You have a pool at your house?" with her mouth gaping open. Come to think of it, I didn't see any personal pools in Maui. Perhaps it's uber expensive what with land being at a premium. It's all sinkholes where we come from, lady.

A curious thing about Hawaii: Lots of tattoos of their state. I saw them on men and women - on necks, on wrists, and, unfortunately, on the chests of some women. Because nothing's classier than a chest tattoo on a lady.

Can you imagine getting a tattoo of, say, Wyoming?

"Did you bring a picture of what you want?"

"Nah, just draw a square."

Also, lots of anchor tattoos. Some with the odd saying "I refuse to sink" in flowery script. 

Isn't that the point of anchors? To sink?

Why not a drawing of arm floaties instead, artfully tatted on your ankle or bicep? That would really make much more sense.

I refuse to sink

Anyway, we got on our flight later that night and Matt and I popped a couple motion sickness pills before the flight so we would sleep. Here's the thing about sleeping on planes - I'm terrible at it. So I have to take something. Here's the thing about me taking sedating medication - I'm terrible at it. It affects me within minutes and I'm slurring my words. It's a crapshoot either way.

The entire flight, Matt sat in his chair, arms resting lightly at his sides, eyes closed in peaceful slumber. I'm sprawled out on my chair and the (thankfully) empty chair next to me. On my side with my hair in the aisle and my legs curled up on Matt's lap, on my back with one leg bent over Matt's chest and the other draped over his knees. I forgot to put on my seatbelt and the attendant tapped me awake and I came to violently, crying "What? What is it?" 

We had a layover in San Francisco and I sprawled out on the bench, facedown to sleep. I can really only sleep well one way: on my stomach with my arms and legs bent like a swastika. It sounds like the beginnings of a sacrificial burning, I know. Even after about 7 hours, the meds were still affecting me during our last leg. Matt and I were in different rows due to the switch and I was in the middle of my three seat row. Not long after taking off, I apparently dozed off a bit. 

You know when you start to sleep and your muscles sometimes jerk? There was that going on, plus the sedative meds, plus my restless leg syndrome. 

My left leg jerked violently and kicked the guy next to me.

"Oops, sorry about that. I'm heavily medicated with one motion sickness pill. Legs do that sometimes. Well, you know what I mean, you have two."

Also on that flight were two young guys behind me. Conversing loudly in that slightly arrogant way that young 20-something guys are prone to do. Here is a smattering of topics covered in a roughly 20 minute time:

*The Theory of Relativity

*Women They've Slept With 

*Best Bread for Reuben Sandwiches

It was like a strange game of Jeopardy - "What is busty blondes?" "What is pumpernickel?'

I would've jumped in at the Theory of Relativity but I had only read one chapter of that book.

Fine. Half a chapter.

We finally got home and it was so good to see the kids and our parents and our home again. We brought cheap souvenirs for the kids (including the Matt's free lei from the hotel for Jack and the rest of my travel applesauce for the toddlers). I was going to get them Hawaiian shirts but they wouldn't appreciate the $40 each they would cost. I did seriously consider buying a couple from Ebay to be at our house when we got back. Maybe Gymboree is Hawaiian for something. They wouldn't know.

Thanks for the Hawaii souvenirs, Mom! You're the best!

We are VERY fortunate to have both sets of grandparents nearby. I didn't have that growing up and envied those who did so I'm happy my kids get to experience that. They took good care of our kids. Maybe too good.  Matt's parents and my mom came over the night we got back and here's how the conversation went concerning the week at their houses:

Matt's Dad: "They got to leave the table and come back again for their food."

Matt's Mom: "They had dessert without finishing their dinners."
 My Mom: "We had ice cream for dinner."

Oh, c'mon! Needless to say, the next day was a bit of detox. Withdrawal, even. Back to math and oatmeal and joyless children.

So that, in a very big nutshell, is our first Edward Jones trip. Aloha! Now, I've got to get back to washing my own towels and nagging my kids. They're so happy we're back.