China Day 9 - Medical Appointment

Nothing funny or interesting happened today so if that's what you're looking for, move along. We had Tali's medical appointment today. Since she's under two, she doesn't have to have a blood draw, which is fabulous. We were in and out in a matter of minutes.

We went to Taste-Mart (and I kept hearing the Veggie Tale line 'Stuff Mart' in my head). Our guide said it's owned by Walmart. We got a bag of Lay's Pepsi Chicken potato chips and some more formula. We noticed that the workers who are putting stuff on shelves wear hard hats. Which I could totally see. What is that - 6 inches up in the air? Darn right a hard hat is needed.

We had cup of noodles for lunch (they are in huge bowls here). If there's one thing Talitha loves, it's noodles. Mmmm...gluten. She slept for about 4 hours in the afternoon and then we took her down to the kids play area in the hotel. She had no idea what to do with the slide.

She loved this little electronic toy

I tried really hard to hide my cleavage. Sometimes they just can't be contained. This was the most decent of the shots Matt took. Surprisingly, he didn't think the pictures were terrible at all.

China Day 8 - Temples and Fish Heads

We had our first day in Guangzhou and went to a family temple and Buddhist temple. Our guide explained that the family temple was created by all the people with the last name of Chen in Guangzhou. It was used as a sort of study place for when students were getting ready to take an exam so they could work for the government. The artwork was incredible.

The decorations on the top were crazy ornate

This was a mother dragon. She has a baby. Even though it's kind of scary, I still said "Aww." Stone dragons love their babies too.

Jack really handled the heat well. Our guide said "Isn't it like this in Florida?" Jack said "Yes, but when it's this hot and humid we stay in our pool." Spoken like a true American.

For a moment, I seriously thought this was a statue of Gollum from Lord of the Rings.

"I'm not talking to you."
"Fine, I don't even like you and your goatee is stupid."
"At least I have hair."
"Oh that's rich coming from a guy who sits next to a pot all day."
"This pot? It's your mom's."

Carved from bone.

This is a room where the monks hung out. Our guide told us they talked, read, played games and smoked opium. I suddenly realize why Buddhist monks are happier than Catholic ones.

After the family temple, we went to a Buddhist temple. Again, lots of incense (note the correct spelling). We got to take pictures of Buddha, where we weren't allowed at the last temple. There were lots of beggars at the front steps. This one woman was literally scooting herself around holding out a bowl for money. I felt bad until I watched as she spotted someone giving money across the courtyard and ran full speed over to her. Well played madam. 

After the temple, we went to a local market. People had containers of frogs and turtles for sale to eat. The fish they splayed out and had rows of puffed up bladders. For what I'm not sure. Our guide told us that the fish head is the most expensive part of the fish and properly cooked it's delicious. I'll take my fish in sticks, thank you.

We went to McDonald's for lunch because it was the only thing we could find around our hotel. Talitha kept pointing at Matt's coke so he gave her a sip. This is her face.

Yes, she is eating chicken nuggets and drinking coke. There is nothing I can say that will make this better.

As soon as the worker at the counter saw me coming, she presented me with a picture menu. We are not big on fast food so I just pointed at a couple hamburger meals and a four pack of nuggets. After I got my tray, I stared at it blinking. They were kid meals. That was a fun walk of shame through the restaurant, holding my kid meals with the generic Little Pony toys aloft. It was enough food for us though and I felt pretty even with McDonalds when I noticed the hats the workers wear:

They have huge plastic french fry containers on them. Can you imagine that in America? People would be calling the ACLU, teenagers marring the hats by replacing the fries with cigarettes or phallic shapes...

We went home and Talitha took a nap. We stopped by the pool for just a bit. Tali wasn't thrilled but neither was she upset. She just calmly took it all in. She'll be swimming soon...

Ready for the pool!

She's also incredibly flexible. Like newborn flexible. She often brings her feet up to her eyes. She will splay her legs out flat to the side when laying on her stomach and sit up, keeping her legs still and coming up into a split.

This is often how she sleeps. Either like this or with her knees bent but legs apart like that.

We went to dinner up at the Executive Lounge. While I was waiting to get some hot water from the coffee machine, one of the staff sidled up to me and rubbed my shoulder for a couple seconds, asking "Can I help you with anything?"

"Well, you can start by not touching me. I know my sweat pants and chubby bare fingers may say otherwise, but I'm actually taken. You can get me a bottle of beer though. Do you have any snuff? I could go for a pinch right about now."

Later this evening, we witnessed a great moment. I was feeding Talitha her bedtime bottle of formula and singing her songs and nursery rhymes. She was touching my mouth the whole time. Then I started reciting my favorite children's book 'Where the Wild Things Are.' I recited the line "Max stepped into his private boat and waved goodbye.' She took her hand off her bottle and waved goodbye at me. I said it again and she did it again. What a clever kid. 

She'll fit right in.

China Day 7 - Thoughts on a Found Daughter

Two posts today, I know. It's blogging faux pas. But I wanted to capture our day yesterday and our day today. Not too much happened today, as we just hung around the hotel. But she is changing bit by bit everyday.

She is becoming very vocal with us, laughing and squealing and making sounds when she wants something. We watch her all the time, noting new things about her face or movements, watching for something changed in her behavior. She is very quiet around other people, which is common with a lot of kids in general but especially for orphans. Safety is of absolute importance.

Today she was playing on the floor with Jack, one of her favorite things to do. She was getting sleepy and I heard her call "Ma...Ma...Ma!" She was calling for me! I brought her to bed and she fell asleep.

Today when Matt picked her up, he pointed out to me that she put her hand on his shoulder while being carried. It's a little thing but oh so big.

She is smiling more at me and Matt (it used to be almost exclusively for Jack) and each smile feels like a hard-won victory. She is very serious and intent sometimes, trying to put bits of food on a fork. She likes to carry a piece of food with her and nibble it very slowly instead of cramming it in all at once.

It was interesting to watch her while I played with Jack. He would run past me and I would grab him and tickle him. At first she would be startled and get a look on her face like she was about to cry. Then as soon as she heard or saw him laugh she would break out into laughter. I wonder - is it because she's never seen playing like that? did it remind her of something negative?

There is so much unknown.

We didn't get to see her finding place. We are told she was left at the gate of the orphanage with a note. We have a copy of the "finding ad." Abandoning children is illegal, thus parents cannot safety take a child somewhere and tell them the situation. Newspaper ads are placed with the picture of the children, in order to "search" for the parents. Once this legal obligation is satisfied, the child can be placed in an orphanage.

Over and over in my mind I replay the scenario. Tali was 4 months when she was found. Did her mother know she would give her up the entire time and just held on as long as she could? Did Tali's poor health and the family's finances create a crisis around her fourth month? I imagine the weeks leading up to her being left. Her mother perhaps stringing it out as long as possible - telling her husband, her mother "Tomorrow I will."

Her note is simple, basic. It states something to the effect of "Please feed this poor kid. I am too poor. Thank you for your kindness." The translation may be a bit off but that is the gist. It listed her birthdate.

I think - did the father write it? I wonder how I would've written that note. Rough drafts, several copies. Making sure I include things like what songs she liked me to sing, how she slept at night, that she has my eyes and her father's ears. What my hopes are for her life. Perhaps she tried to write it but couldn't and so her husband or mother or friend did. Perhaps people just don't include those personal things. Perhaps people just can't.

Did her hand shake? Was the note slightly damp in small, tear-drop sized places?

I picture her placing her gently in front of the gates, whispering a prayer in her ear. "Forgive me, please, I am doing the best I can. I will say a prayer for your happiness."

How many times did she came back for one last kiss? How long did she stare intently into those big, liquid brown eyes? Did she watch from a distance, sighing with relief when her baby was found, and also biting back a scream, choking back bile?

I don't know. I don't want to make up a history for Talitha and paint a romantic picture. But it occurs to me that orphans represent a greater tragedy. The children are lost, yes. But so are the mothers. The mothers out there tonight who are thinking of their babies and hoping with a desperate hope that everything turned out alright. Wishing and praying for their children's happiness and trying to find peace despite the fact that they will most likely never know if it is true.

I say a prayer for my daughter, for her grief and her unknown past and for her peace.

But I say a prayer for her birthmother too. For she is also facing a tragedy. I say a prayer for her grief and her daughter's unknown future. And for her peace as well.

For all the lost children tonight...and for all the lost mothers too.

China Day 6 - Guangxi Museum and the Train

We went to the Guangxi Museum yesterday. It's a new building and pretty awesome. China has a lot of different minority groups (I think it's around 55) and this museum pays tribute to the groups within the province of Guangxi. There is no way of knowing which group Talitha belongs to, as nothing is known of her parents. Our guide talked us through the museum and we learned a lot of interesting things about this amazingly diverse group of people.

The security was pretty tight. Had to put our stuff through a xray machine and walk through a metal detector. I also had to give Tali her bottle so they knew I wasn't bringing poison in. Apparently, people are trying to kill others here.

This path between the escalators is made entirely of roses. Our guide told us this region is famous for flower arrangements like this.

Straw dragon

One of the groups is well known for their drumming

Mongolian warrior costumes

A replica of cave paintings found on the side of a steep cliff. They don't know how they got there and why they are so different from other cave paintings in the area.

Most Westerners to China will tell stories of how they are instant celebrities. We realized about halfway through our museum tour that people were following us and taking our picture, especially Jack's. Blond-haired people are considered good luck in Chinese society. Jack was very startled to realize they were taking pictures of him and stoically hid behind Matt. He really didn't appreciate the attention. He posed for a few pictures but not many. A bunch of teen girls wanted to take Jack's picture and told our guide that Jack was really cute. A few girls even came up to touch his hair while he wasn't looking and Jack would brush his hair as if it were a fly. If Kate were here, she would happily pose for pictures. She often tells us how cute her clothing is on particular days and would be justified in knowing people want to capture her cuteness. I thought of my best friend and her three kids, all of whom have white-blond hair. They would be mobbed here. People wanted to take pictures with me and Matt too and our guide told us that many are rural students who have never seen a white person before.

People were walking past us and after noticing our Caucasian-ness they would shout "Hello!" It began to sound like the seagulls in Finding Nemo. "Hi, Hi, Hi!" Matt started varying his response. Sometimes "Howdy," sometimes "What's up, bro?" and even once a very cultured "Bonsoir."

It was a strange but fun experience to be famous. At one point, our guide went to ask a question and in the 5 minutes we were left alone, a mob had formed around us with cameras. 

"People, please. I'm just an ordinary person. No need to push and shove. Someone bring me a goblet of Evian with ice from Bali. Cubed, not crushed, or heads are going to roll."

This was part of the group left after our guide told them to leave

Matt's big ol white head is high above it all. Jack is hiding behind Matt in this picture. We felt out of place being the only people not throwing up peace signs.

After that we went to the old museum. It's a very scenic area with ponds and gardens. 

Jack and Talitha in the van. There are no seatbelts and we let them watch the crazy traffic

Next we went to the Nanning train station. We were told by our guide to wear our backbacks in front of us so that people can't use knives to cut the bottom. He also warned us several times to keep a close eye on Jack. Well that's comforting. 

These are people at the Nanning train station waiting for the same train we are

The sign says "No smoking, Do not throw rubbish, No Spitting." People would walk by that sign with cigarettes having from their mouths, throwing trash and working up a lugee.

Our guide graciously led us right to our sleeping car. It was a mad crush of humanity to get on the train, as everyone has only 20 minutes to get on or the train leaves. It was quite an experience with our luggage and bookbags and stroller and baby and kid.

The rest of the pictures are of the train. We bought four tickets for a sleeping cabin to ourselves. It's just four narrow bunks with a little table under the window. We watched a show on our laptop and ate chips. The Lays in China come in all sorts of flavors. We got cucumber, wasabi shrimp, mexican chicken, and barbequed pork (pictured). The flavors are good but the texture of a chip is a little unsettling when you are eating something that tastes like ribs but feels like a chip.

We jerry-rigged a bunk with pillows and suitcase barriers to make a little bed for Talitha. She rolls around a lot. She had a bottle (the trains have hot water for tea and noodles) and went to bed and didn't wake up all night. The rocking was probably soothing, plus she's an amazing sleeper. I can't say the same for the rest of us although it was definitely a cool experience that I'm happy we did.

This zipper fascinated her for a good 20 minutes

The picture below is of the bathroom in the train. It's the infamous "squatty potty" and everyone who has been to China is nodding their head right now. You basically just squat down over the hole and do your business. You have to bring your own toilet paper (and hand sanitizer - Jack is the only one who thought to bring it, although that's not surprising). It's a very bizarre experience and it took me quite sometime to figure out how not to pee on my shorts (solution: either take them off completely or take off one leg and twist it around and tuck it into the other side, making a sort of shorts/underwear leg holster. Like a toilet cowboy). A few thoughts occur to me while trying to pee into the hole: 

'Holy cow! I could lose a whole Croc down there. (grips toes on flip flops tightly)

'This would be awful for people with bad knees. Either they would just have to pee on their own legs or they would have to make sure they are men.'

'I think I see a light at the end of this curved little tunnel. Holy cow, this is going outside! Then I imagine all the waste being chucked out of the train at various speeds. Poor people living by the train getting splattered with pee, an unfortunate dog with a wad of toilet paper on its head...I'll bet the real estate is pretty cheap by the train.'

'I actually have really good aim. Must remember this when I felt bad about myself. Yes, my mothering was crap today but I can hit a hole in the ground with urine from 2 feet away.'

They have these little pull down seats in the hall for during the day. A couple kids and adults found Jack and shyly smiled at him. A 2 year old was so startled by Jack he wouldn't go near him, which Jack found hilarious. A man touched Jack's cheek and stated "So white." Yup.

We found our new guide for Guangzhou and he dropped us off at the hotel. Our room is amazing again and we have breakfast up at the Executive Lounge. We are getting used to nice things and will probably become unbearable and snotty. 

We are resting now and will go sightseeing tomorrow. I'm stretching out in our nice bed and trying to forget that cramped little bunk and all its probable microscopic inhabitants.