Generation after Generation

My father-in-law has been a pastor for 36 years and preached his last sermon this past Sunday. Despite being 6,000 miles away (or so, I don't remember exactly), we were able to listen to his sermon over the internet. My in-laws are moving from Alaska to our town in Florida. They'll be here in about three weeks. Even though I know that, I was still missing them listening to the sermon. I could picture my father-in-law taking off his blazer and rolling up his sleeves before preaching. The pauses in the sentences, the familiar cadence to his sermons. My mother-in-law in the front right row, daintily writing down notes in a journal. And I think about them and my parents and Matt and I being parents ourselves (and here 'The Circle of Life' begins to play in my mind). Matt's parents and my parents are leaving a legacy to us and the generations after. A legacy of faithfulness, a legacy of prayer, a legacy of constant quiet being that does not shake in the rough winds of life.

And I wonder what legacy we will leave. It's hard to picture in the everyday grime of raising small children. Our couch has Vaseline stains on it, I have raised my voice a shameful amount already in the short hours of today, my older son has repeatedly referenced slavery while completing his chores.

Just last night I was pondering this while cutting Noah's hair in the bathroom. And right in the middle of my musings on parenting, I noticed that Noah had grabbed the big kid toothpaste out of the cup and was sucking on it. It's chock-full of flouride. I sighed and put it back. Good parenting at its finest. Some may have been worried and had poison control on the phone but my motto, which has been sharpened as an ER nurse, is "You're fine." Perhaps that will be my legacy - living a life on the edge. And I really do. I often stand in front of the microwave while it's on. I've been known to cut the tags right off a mattress. I may only wait 20 seconds for my hair straightener to heat up instead of the full 30. And I almost always take the usb photo thing out of my computer before it tells me it's safe to take it out. Mainly because I don't want to be bossed around by a machine. I'll decide when things are safe around here. So yeah, I'm pretty bold.

Despite all these little frustrations in life, a legacy is being formed. And whether I raise my children with intention or not, something will be left. I think about our parents and how who we are affects those that come after us. Generation after generation cascading like rapids.

I hope my kids will say we also left a legacy of faithfulness. Parents who were steadfast in seeking after things they could not hold or see but trusted nonetheless.

They will hopefully not mind too much that their clothes were mostly handed down or bought at yard sales. It may come as a shock someday to realize that most kids they knew did not have to share rooms and even had their own televisions most of the time. But perhaps they will not mind that too much. They may not care that we didn't go out to eat much or go on nice vacations. My hope is that they will realize that we tried really hard to spend our time and money on things that mattered, on things that would last. Even though we failed a lot and made poor decisions, we kept going back to God's will for our lives.

And when they are spinning their wheels in the everyday grime of raising their children, I hope they will think about these things and choose the best over the simply good enough and leave their own legacy of grace.