A Yearly Remembrance of Being Married

Our anniversary has rolled around again, as it tends to do. Here are some highlights;

• While leaving the Total Wine store (which is an awesome warehouse type store of beverages), I passed a woman coming in. She was dressed quite nicely, high heels and pearls. She walked in and stopped for a minute. Then she grabbed a cart and said tiredly under her breath "I'm gonna need one of these." Work week's over, my friend. Grab a cart.
• I got behind a guy at the checkout in Publix. He had on those popular preppy shorts and designs on them. I think he had coral shorts with navy seahorses. He was wearing a polo shirt and had on boat shoes and one of those hairstyles meant to look casual and windblown but actually take 45 minutes and a good deal of gel to pull off. He was obviously cool. He knew it and I knew it. Unfortunately, the cashier didn't seem to realize this caste system fact. He rang up the guy's chips and salsa and started making small talk:

                    "Ah, a little chip and dip action tonight?"

                    "Um...yeah. I guess."

                    "Have you ever tried buffalo dip? Oh man. Blow. Your. Mind."

                    "No, I haven't."

          The cool guy was obviously uncomfortable, probably most with the phrase 'chip and dip action.'

          Didn't the cashier see the seahorse shorts? He's too cool for that sort of small talk. C'mon, man.
          Use your brain.

         Then he scans my ice cream and pop and asked if I'm making floats. I told him I don't do that sort of            thing. He asked if I was celebrating any anything and I said it's my anniversary weekend. He asked                how long (12 years) and said when he was in high school (which, by the looks of him, was yesterday),          he celebrated anniversaries like 3 months with his girlfriend. He asked if we did that. I said no, at this            point we're on to decades.

        "Happy 2nd decade to you."

        "Hey thanks. You too."

        Things like that.

• We floated in the pool yesterday and Matt put one of the tv speakers out the porch window so we could listen to music. Later that evening, we ate sushi and watched a movie. A very funny movie but somewhat risque and with a lot of bad language. Later that evening, Matt noticed the speaker was still outside. Sorry about that neighbors.

I told Matt that it was on this day 12 years ago he was holding my dress so I could pee. Let me explain this one. I kept my dress on after the wedding while we drove to our honeymoon hotel. I paid for it and it was pretty and I was going to wear it as long as I could. We pulled into a gas station and I had to pee but my dress was pretty fluffy. I told Matt he had to come into the bathroom and hold up my dress. He said he couldn't do that. It made him uncomfortable. Too bad, buddy boy. So he went in and held my dress and turned his head to this side. Sheesh. 

There was no one in the store when we went in. 30 seconds later we leave the restroom and a field trip of about 20 kids and a couple adults is waiting to use the bathroom. All eyes were on us as I floated past them in my fluffy cloud dress and flip flops. After we get in the car, Matt is blushing slightly and states "You know what they thought? They thought we couldn't wait until the hotel room."

No wonder they were glaring.

Random Ramblings and Updates

Adoption Update

We are waiting for the US consulate in China to reopen (they moved buildings) so that we can drop off our Article 5. I won't get into the details of what exactly that is. It's not because I don't know. Because of course I do. It's a piece of paper. With words on it. And it's official looking. I know all about it. I just don't want to bore you with the details.

Once it gets dropped off, it can get picked back up (yup, I said it). That takes a couple weeks. Then we wait for Travel Approval (TA). That takes a couple weeks. Then we pick our appointment at the consulate, maybe 2-4 weeks after TA. We're hoping for a September travel. Yikes and hooray at the same time.

The last update told us that Talitha is doing fine (it's the party line apparently) and that she's about 23 lbs.

She was about 12 in March.

I may not be the sharpest crayon in the box...but no.

Our two year old is about 23 lbs. He's 6 months older than Talitha and hasn't been in an orphanage, fighting a heart condition that turned him blue with exertion. She was a preemie and 4-5 lb at 4 months. He was 9 Lb 12 oz at birth and was dubbed "The Linebacker" from several nurses. He has the blood of West Virginia coal miners coursing through his big ol veins. Oh, and Germans. Don't forget the lager-and-sausage-loving German blood. He's solid and his thighs make bike riders jealous. You have to squish them when you see them. You can't fight that feeling.

You can't see her thighs in this pictures but I'm guessing they're not really squishable. Look at the difference in their arms, for goodness sake's. I peg her at 15-18 lbs. 9 month old clothes.

I've heard from other adoptive parents that updates stats are hardly ever accurate and they either just do it flat wrong or pad the numbers to make them appear healthier.

Stop trying to pull the wonton wrapper over my eyes, China. Get it together.

On a related note, Matt preached this past Sunday. He chose adoption and oh my goodness, why did I wear mascara? The very first sentence he spoke, he choked up too. This has become so personal and passionate for us.


The Alternator of Doom

As the kids and I were leaving my niece's birthday party, the gas pedal inexplicably stopped working. On a four lane busy road in the city on a Saturday afternoon. It's me and the three kids. And it's raining. I coasted into a parking lot and called my dad, who was close by, and Matt, who was not.

Everyone agreed it sounded like the alternator. I agreed too because alternator sounds like it could definitely be a car part.

We've had AAA forever. Matt had it before we got married. Guess what Matt did two weeks ago? That's right - he canceled it. Thinking we hardly ever use it and could save that money for the adoption. Matt called AAA and explained the situation to them. They reinstated us immediately.

Mad props and hat tips and rounds of applause to AAA.

We got it towed back to Macclenny and the kids enjoyed a rare meal out waiting for the tow truck.

Having to pay almost $500 to get this fixed is something you don't really think about unless you need the money for something big. Otherwise it's just a blip, an annoying part of life.

But now it's like "Oh c'mon, really? Now? Really?"

On a related note, Florida is getting hit with Seattle-ish amounts of rain. Our septic field is not happy. When we picked up the van, Kate and I took it upon ourselves to use a working bathroom. Sure, it was a dirty shop bathroom but the guy there was kind enough to let us use it. It was slightly embarrassing, as Kate loudly described what she was doing. And how she could tell she had carrots by the coloring of certain things in the toilet. It was a very loud and detailed play by play. And there's really only so much interest you can fake in someone else's bodily function while also quietly admonishing them to hurry it up and stop admiring how shiny the soap is.

Grey's Anatomy for Children

As we've exhausted much of the heart surgery videos on youtube, I've been scouring clips of interesting surgeries from Grey's Anatomy to watch with Jack. I don't let him watch the whole episodes and if you've seen any, you know why. Plus, he wouldn't care about the personal drama anyway. We were watching this one clip when someone has an explosive from a bazooka in his abdomen (the show is nothing if not realistic). The patient was in the OR and an anesthesiologist was working the ambu bag (essentially breathing for the patient). I explained what was happening. Later on in the episode, everyone thinks the explosive will detonate and they hit the floor. Eventually they slowly get up, and the drama is palpable. Jack is intent, eyes glued to the screen. I wonder if I've gone too far, exposed him to something that's really upset him.

"Jack?" I ask quietly, "You ok buddy?"

"No. No one is giving that patient oxygen. It's been like two minutes. There's no point in doing the surgery now. The patient is dead. They should leave the bomb in the patient so it doesn't explode on everyone else."

Son of a gun, he's right. No one started working the ambu bag after they hit the floor.

A surgeon he is indeed.

Surgery Update

Talitha had surgery Monday. Yes, Monday - the day I was so worried about her it seemed like the sugar of a thousand m&ms would not suffice. I got an email this morning that she had the surgery and it was done through a heart cath - not open heart. This is fantastic news. No difficult surgery, no long recovery and risk of infection of the incision. I'm going to post a video of what they did to repair one of her heart defects because it's easier than explaining it. It's also a video made in Chinese. So the guy talking has a slight Chinese accent and there's Chinese background music. Apropos.

Her other defects may resolve with time. She'll have a full work up at the pediatric hospital in Jacksonville when we get home.

We also got some pictures of Tali in the hospital. Oh my goodness, you guys. She is so sad. She even has a single crocodile tear in a couple pictures. Maybe it's that I know she's an orphan - but she really seems like an orphan to me. Forlorn. Alone. I just want to reach through the computer and hold her and whisper I love her and tickle her feet until she laughs.

I attempted Chinese cuisine today. We ended our rice fast and enjoyed chow mein and brownies with ice cream. My in-laws joined us and we talked and laughed and thanked the Healer for his goodness. And Tali girl? There's a brownie with ice cream in your very near future.

Surgery News

Today was emotionally draining.

Our recent email from China said she was in Shanghai and would be having surgery next week. Alright, breathe easy - surgery soon for our sweet girl.

Then I got an email this morning from our guy telling me that her condition is worse than they previously thought and she would be having surgery tonight. At work so I was in the triage room in the ER. Heart beating fast, I shot off an email to some good friends and family for prayers. Not an hour later, I got an email from him letting me know that whoops! surgery is back to this week as planned. Here is the actual email:

Well,I got different messages. I was told the surgery would be next week,then tomorrow,then next week again. I will verify and let you know. The good news is heart issue is not complicated at all,VSD,PFO,PDA and mild PH. She will be fine. No worries.

Really? Oh, ok - I won't worry then. She just has FOUR different heart conditions, one of which could lead to congestive heart failure. Even though I'm a nurse (and an ER nurse - we are notorious for not caring. At all), and I know that those heart issues are relatively common and surgery should be no problem, it's still worrisome thank you very much. 

Times like this I wish there was a sarcasm font. 

Then I got another email hours later saying yes, he confirmed the surgery will be next week.This was on my mind all day while talking to people about their chest pain and putting IVs in and that sort of thing. 

Worry. Worry. Worry. Praying. Praying. Praying.

We decided to do a rice fast during dinner for the next week or so. We just eat rice. And pray for Tali. So it's not really a fast as we are eating something. But it calls us to focus on her. We started on Thursday. Friday we had rice for lunch as we were going out to eat for my birthday (fine! Noah's too...). Jack prayed for Talitha and said "Please God help her to have her surgery soon - we've eaten nothing but rice for two days."

How tragic, the lives my kids lead.

It's sticky Asian rice, Calrose to be specific. The top of the bag has the words 'Extra Fancy' on it. For some reason, it makes me feel better. Not sure why but I'm rolling with it.

So basically we don't really know what's going on over in Shanghai tonight. What day is the surgery? How long will it be? What's the recovery projected for her? Is she smiling? Is someone holding her? Will she be sung to sleep tonight? 

Sometimes it feels like we're playing the telephone game with China. It goes through so many people and by the time it gets to us, the message is all garbled and weird. Maybe we'll get there and I'll talk about the heart problem and they'll say "Heart problem? No, I said start. My car wouldn't start and it was a problem."

Something like that. 

Today I was held up by my friends and family, all of whom were praying for her all day. We are blessed. 

The word blessed gets overused to the point where it loses its meaning. 

Among its meanings is my favorite: enjoying happiness, to bestow good of any kind upon.

We enjoy happiness because of you. You bestow good upon us. 

We are grateful for those who surround us with good things. She is being washed in the prayers of the faithful.

Random Ramblings

Yes I'm alive. We had some family in town for the last couple weeks. Such a great time. We ate good food and played games and did cannonballs in the pool at 10 pm. Good for the soul, times like that.


Adoption Update

We got an email from our China contact letting us know that Talitha will be in Shanghai on Thursday for the surgery. The surgeons will evaluate her when she gets there so we don't know the exact date of the surgery. But it's got to be soon, right? Cause she'll be there and all. Yup, logic. Maybe it will be Friday. Then July 5 will be my and Noah's birthday and Tali's heart day. How many balloons can we cram into one day?

We're excited and nervous and so wish we could be there with her. It will be so much easier for her when we travel if she's already had the surgery.

Side note: In Tali's referral, it stated that she turns blue when she cries. This makes sense as she has VSD (ventricular septum defect) and there is a hole between the ventricles. Essentially the oxygenated blood is mixing with the unoxygenated blood. So when her heart rate or blood pressure rises (like when she's upset), her oxygen levels drop. So today Kate colored a picture of a princess in her coloring book and gave her a blue face. She said it was like Talitha when she cries. I asked if the princess had a heart problem and Kate replied "No, it's just magic."

We'll keep you updated on her surgery. Any prayers would be appreciated.

Toddler Idiosyncrasies

Noah is having trouble going to sleep these days. He'll crawl right out of his bed and start wrecking havoc. I'll walk in 20 minutes after I put him down to find the closet light on and books strewn all over the floor. Noah will have taken his pants and diaper off and put on his little crocs. He will be rolling around on the floor. Then he will cry and flail about when I put him into bed. There is no use reasoning, this I know. But I still try. "Noah, this is inappropriate behavior." "Don't you want to be well-rested for your tantrums tomorrow?" "Aren't you exhausted from spitting an entire apple onto the floor in tiny little chunks at lunch today?" Things like that.

"Childhood goes by so fast" is the mantra I repeat to myself through clenched teeth. While taking an aspirin. And washing it down with Merlot.

Body Piercing

A friend of mine got a nose ring and it's so darn cute. I've always liked them but it just didn't feel right for me to get one. I'm not a person who can pull that off. My friend asked why I couldn't and I responded that it wouldn't go with my sweatpants (I jest of course. They're yoga pants).

Plus I imagine that flus and colds and such would be rather pesky with a nose ring.

If I had a pretty sparkly nose ring, that would mean that I would have to kick it up a notch regarding the rest of my appearance. First you get a nose ring, then you start wearing make-up on a daily basis. Maybe you'll seriously considering not wearing your hair in a ponytail but actually putting thought into your hairstyle. It's a downward spiral to looking good. Pretty soon you're brushing your teeth every day and not picking at your scabs. Where does it end? I get tired just thinking about it.