Adoption you say?

Adoption is one of those subjects that usually elicit a strong response in people. I find, even at the beginning of this process, that people seem to fall into two categories. The first is quite positive. The exclamations of "That's wonderful!" and "How exciting!" Usually with a hug and perhaps a foray into their own lives, how they've always wanted to adopt. The second response is bewilderment. I find that it's older people who know we have three kids and are confused by the fact that we want to adopt. I was talking to an older (50's-60's) doctor at work and he asked if we are planning to get pregnant again. When I told him that no, in fact we are planning to adopt, his brow furrowed and he said "But you can have children - so why?"

So why indeed. 

When Matt and I were first married, about 11 years ago, he mentioned that someday he wanted to adopt. Now this was a man who dropped out of college to become a youth pastor so I chalked it up to the fact that he was a better person than I was (which is true). Over the years, we've moved a bit and changed jobs, as is often the case. To be honest, it's just plain easier and cheaper for us to have kids - we have been blessed with abundant fertility. Adoption was shelved in the back of our minds, along with finally getting around to making a will and going somewhere tropical. 

Adopting a child is generally considered a Christian thing to do. Of course, non-Christians adopt all the time too for much the same reasons. Infertility, wanting a child of a specific gender or charity. But really, in its basic form, making a child from a different family part of your own family is a God-ordained process. Who is commanded to care for widows and orphans? The church. As such, it is one of those things that many Christians (especially, it seems, in my generation) consider, along with going on mission trips, volunteering at soup kitchens and going to seminary. All of these endeavors are good, full of generosity. And as Christians we are all called to these things in general. Loving God and our neighbor as ourselves. 

There comes a time though when God calls you to specific things. We're not all meant to be third world missionaries or pastors or some such. We're not all meant to adopt or homeschool or whatever it is.  We're supposed to do some of these things personally and support them in others. We are called to adopt.  Both as a family and as two separate people, living out a relationship with Christ. After Noah was born, I really started to feel God was leading us to adoption. It was time, after 10 years or so of mentioning it in passing. Matt was always for it: yes, sure, let's adopt. I began to read. To research. Because that's what I do. The more I read, the more I was broken. The more I researched, the more I felt that it's not simply a nice thing to do. It's an act of love. A declaration of war against a society that puts more value on bald eagles than babies. A symbol of what God did for me, personally. I was dead in sin, I was hopeless, I had no chance of life outside Christ. But he grafted me into the vine of His family and accepted me like I was born into it. 

There's a song popular now (probably by MercyMe)and one line in it is 'Break my heart for what breaks yours.' I had been broken for adoption and there was no other choice. I was filled with urgency, wracked with despair over the plight of these most vulnerable. Children who have a debt over their lives simply because they were born. In the wrong country, the wrong time in history, the wrong circumstances, whatever the reason. Matt was always positive for adoption but without the desperation. Then one morning he called from work. In tears. Now he doesn't cry a lot. And it's usually either something momentous, like the birth of our children, or it's God. So I knew something had happened. A co-worker of his recently adopted a 7 year old from China. They had chronicled the process in a blog. Matt read it and God had broken him too. He called and told me and then said "We have to do this. Now." He heard a news story about the increase in sex trafficking in China due to the one child policy and the abundance of males. And a love for another daughter was planted in his heart.

God has worked in both of us to the point of being broken over adoption. We both travel personal roads with God that join in the bigger road of our family. There's much more to say about adoption in our family but that's probably enough for now. Your eyes are tired. Go get a glass of something cool and refreshing - you deserve it.