Math and Popularity

Oh statistics.

Things would be so much easier if the teacher didn't seem to assume that we all enjoy the class. She makes little quips like "Real statisticians would never actually use the standard deviation of the median. It's too unpredictable." Then she'll chuckle and shake her head, like we're all sharing an inside joke. Those wacky statisticians!

I keep telling myself inane platitudes like "I love this class." and "Statistics is the best!" but I know I'm lying so it's not really working.

Language is really my thing, not numbers. During class, my fingers itch to reach into my purse and pull out my Kindle. Open a book. Where things are safe and happy.

The teacher launched into a tutorial of our TI-83 calculators and one of the students was having trouble finding whatever Greek function we were supposed to be locating. The guy behind me snickered "This is so easy. I mean, I took calculus."

And yet here you are, taking a night class at a community college. Professor.

Because of such shenanigans, I observe the other students and wonder about them. Community college is interesting because there are so many different types of people. Unlike the large state college I attended right out of high school, which contained mostly people 18-22 who liked a good frat party. And by good, I mean ridiculous and slightly pathetic.

Anyway, one of the girls that sits close to me in class is one of those physically perfect people. Her nails are perfectly shaped and matched, her hair falls in attractive tendrils around her lightly bronzed face. She has one of those big weird purses, with the name of the designer slashed obnoxiously all over the purse in primary letters. But it's outrageously expensive, so people forgive its ugliness.

If I was 17, I might have been slightly jealous of this girl. Maybe I would've even rushed home to exfoliate my face and paint my stubby nails the same coral shade. But today I thought 'Wow, her sandals are sure sparkly...I wonder if I have any gum in my purse?"

After class I struck up a conversation about statistics (we were walking next to each other down the hall and it seemed like the right thing to do). She's finishing up her prerequisites for nursing school so we talked about that for awhile. She was fabulously nice as well, which always strikes me as slightly unfair. If someone is very attractive and their personality is either dull or unbearably egotistical, it's a always a small comfort. If you're heavy on the looks, you should be dumber than a box of rocks and/or have a terrible personality. Otherwise it's not fair to average persons like myself. We are the renegades, sailing through life on neither looks nor brains. If I happen to get into a conversation with someone about natural talent and bring up the obvious (that I have none), people are always quick to disagree with me - like I'm fishing for compliments and need them to buoy up my esteem. "That's not true," they say, furtively groping for compliments, "you do so many things." Which is true. Here is a list of my talents:

-I know all the words to 'American Pie' by Don McLean. It does get a little iffy on the part about Helter Skelter, though.

-My hitch hiker's thumb is nearly perfect and I can touch my thumbs to my wrists.

So there you go. It's a wonder my head isn't huge.