Republicrats

In honor of the upcoming election, I thought I'd put a political twist on my post.  If you are really passionate about politics and are loyal to a specific party, don't read this post. Really. You're just going to get your blood pressure all high as you rant and rave and I don't want to be responsible for that.

Try as I might, I have a hard time caring too much about politics and elections.  If the person I vote for wins, my response will be something like "Oh, well, that's good, I suppose." If the other person wins, my response will be something like "Eh."  It still ticks me off a bit that we have just two people to choose from. Two. (I know there are technically more than two but we all know it is an illusion of choice. Truth is tough sometimes, Mr. Perot).  Here is a list of things that have more choices:

1. Which cereal to have for breakfast
2. Amount of yoga pants I own (black with foldover, black with pink band around top, black with no foldover, you get the picture)
3. Size of catheter for IVs (If you tell me you're allergic to Tylenol and Motrin and can only have Morphine, you will get the largest size IV I can fit)
4. Number of pacifiers that Noah has

Side note: The other day at CVS Noah started to get fussy and cry. Quite unusual because he is easy-going (being the third kid, it's probably more like resigned). I asked him if he wanted a binky and he started to reach into my purse to get one. Of course, there is not one there. So I went to the baby aisle and found a two pack of the brand he uses. All that's left is pink. Noah is wailing. With not a moment of hesitation, I rip open the package and pop one in his mouth. Noah is a big guy for 14 months. He runs full tilt most of the time, crashing into things. He carries plastic baby bowling pins around and bangs the wall and laughs hysterically. Some of his nicknames are: Noah the ark, Bam-Bam, Bear, etc. You get the idea. Let me tell you - he rocks those pink binkies. He owns them. Darn right, this pacifier is pink. What of it?

Back to politics, I'm sad to say. Like a lot of people, I've looked into the different political parties and affiliated myself with one. Yet on election day the choices look like this:

Choice #1 - millionaire with nice teeth
Choice #2 - millionaire with nice teeth

Similarly, each party's stance on the other party is basically the same. The Republicans think that the Democrats are running this country into the ground and will tax the snot out of you and they eat baby kittens for breakfast. The Democrats think the Republicans are running this country into the ground and will tax the snot out of you and they eat baby kittens for breakfast.

The funny thing is that I'm Facebook friends with two people of starkly opposite political views. Especially as election day draws near, my feed looks positively bipolar sometimes as their statuses get more and more rabid. One person is just the quintessential Democrat - labor unions, gay marriage, pro-choice. The other would happily leave her husband for Rush Limbaugh, if he showed the slightest hint of interest. Or knew she was alive, even. Although I have my opinions, few things give me greater pleasure than jesting with these types of people. To such a Republican I might say something like "You know, Obama has a really nice smile. That's reason enough for me to vote for him." And to the Democrat, I might throw out a sentence like "The name Mitt has a really comforting ring to it, doesn't it? Like he's going to cradle us all in a big oven mitt of security." Or I might outline my plan of choosing a candidate based solely on how interesting I find their bumper stickers. Look! Patriotic colors and a catchy phrase that exudes optimism! Consider my vote cast.

Another thing that gives me joy in life is seeing the bumper sticker "Stand up for America! Be American!" on a Toyota. Also, I was in the store earlier this week and was next to a couple discussing a product. The man had on a muscle shirt, had dirt on his hands like a mechanic and was nursing a wad of tobacco in his cheek. I overheard him say "But look at the calorie count on this one. And the sodium - it's almost a whole daily allowance!"

It's election year. Find your joy.