Diapers on the Doormat

We had a friend over for dinner a couple days ago. It's hard when people come over sometimes because the children act like we have never seen another human ever. We're spinning and leaping about and shouting things. If you listen real hard, you might hear the faint sounds of "Look at me! Look at me!" coming from every pore in their bodies. I asked them why they go crazy when people are over and then immediately sit and read quietly after guests have left. Kate said it's because they're used to me being there and it's boring.

I am so sorry you are not constantly entertained. It is breaking my heart.

As in keeping with the tradition that we are overenthusiastic about guests, the kids waited by the road for our guest and danced.

Kate made a nice sign for our guest. 

 I made brownies earlier that day for dessert so my 13x9 pan was out of commission. I put the ground beef in another container but realized halfway through cooking that the breaker to the oven flipped off for no apparent reason. This baby isn't cooking fast enough. So I split it into two pans and cut it into squares. Because for me, presentation is everything.

Darn right that's how I served it.

Then your guest comes over and you notice your kids doing things like this:

Yes. I got a picture before I told him to stop. Parenting high fives all around.

Then today a good friend came over. My goodness how I love her. She is kind and encouraging and full of God's goodness. I was telling her about reading a great article about the importance of obedience in children. Jack had disobeyed me earlier that day so, article in mind, I proceeded to lecture him. Because we all know that lectures are the way to a kid's heart. I don't know why I blab on long after the glassy stare has set in. But I always do. Perhaps deep down I'm expecting my kids to look at me with wide eyes and exclaim "Thank you Mother, you have changed my life. I see the error of my ways. I will always remember this day, the 29th of October..."  Something like that.

This particular lecture was amazing though. It had dramatic pauses, poignant phrases and eye-opening examples. I told Jack that actions always have consequences, good or bad. When you choose to disobey, you're also choosing a consequence. There were examples like running a red light and getting a ticket, throwing a ball up and it falling back to Earth, and even marrying a not-so-great person. I was even inspiring myself. At the end of my lecture, all Jack says is: "You don't have to talk about a ball falling back to Earth. I already know about physics."

It was soul crushing, y'all.

Anyway, I was having a great talk with my friend about obedience and parenting and not being able to keep the house clean (all while my kids are acting like crazed dingoes and the dog fur has given the baseboards a lovely golden hue). Then I opened the front door (probably to yell at somebody) and spot a diaper on the welcome doormat. The dog had apparently gotten a hold of a used one and taken it outside to thrash about and deposit on the front steps. 

Yes, my friend had stood there and knocked on my door, right next to a dirty diaper. 

I lamented this shame to my friend and in keeping with her awesomeness, she said "Who cares?"

She told me to focus on what matters and the rest is just french fries.

Well amen to that.

Love and Cakes

Today some friends gave a welcome shower for Talitha. 

Is this cake not the cutest?

She happily spent several minutes going from arms to arms. 

                                     

We are overwhelmed by the love we have been shown. Every step of this adoption process, we were covered in prayers and kind words and good wishes from all around. One day Talitha can look at these words and pictures and know that she was loved and wanted from the very beginning.

Adoption is hard. Super hard. By far the hardest thing I've ever done. I've never been so emotionally drained, so stressed, so elated, so focused on pieces of paper. There were bitter tears and prayers from face-down on the floor, lots of zeros written on the checks and moments of panic.

All along the way, though, love was there. Love came in the form of friends and family who prayed for a girl they didn't yet know; love kept a little one with a broken heart alive in an orphanage - one blue-faced day at a time.

Our pastor often says that hurt people hurt people. The opposite is also true - loved people love people.

Today I was reminded yet again of His goodness and kindness towards me. Today I read sweet cards and unwrapped boxes of diapers and gift bags of pink clothes intended for an beloved daughter who was once a sick orphan and I saw a glimpse of who He is and who He is pressing me to become.

Those of us who have been swept up in the all-consuming love of the Most High? We love. We're not always the best at it but the closer we get to Him, the more His love rubs off on us.

We are surrounded by people who know know how to love well.

I want to love better. I want to love even when it's hard - no, especially when it's hard. When it's costly and painful and nothing is certain. When the risk is great and hope lingers just beyond view, that's when it matters most.

Loved people love people.

And Matt and I? Have been greatly loved.

Random Ramblings

Family Pictures

We had family pictures done the other evening by our wonderful photographer friend. Before the pictures, Matt and I were getting ready and said to him "Aw, I have a zit on my face." He replied "That's ok. She can photoshop that right out. I'm hoping she'll give me a full head of hair."

After the applying of the makeup (during which I ran out of eyeliner and couldn't find my new mascara so I had to use the old tube - my makeup skills are like a cry for help), I went out to get dressed.

Immediate depression.

I finally found an outfit I was halfway satisfied with and decided to wear one of those bodyshaper tank tops underneath my shirt. If there's ever a time to wear something that slims, it's during a professional photoshoot. Have you ever put one of these tank tops on? Good gravy, it's like being born. After several minutes of struggling and grunting, I finally got the top on. Sigh of relief. It was then that I casually looked down and saw the tag sticking out. Yes. It was on backwards.

I whip it off (well, it took several minutes to get it back off). Forget it. It's not worth it. So I'm a little extra cuddly in the pictures, so what?

Beware of Dog

I went back to work for the first time after we've had Talitha home (I work about one 12 hour shift a week, usually on the weekends when Matt is home. I am a kept woman and I like it).  After I came home this past Saturday, Toby was really excited and kept wagging his tail and licking me. It couldn't be that I smelled any different. Surely I've come home drenched in MRSA before. At first I was really touched. He missed me. Then I remembered reading stories about how dogs can sense things about people. It depressed me a little, thinking the dog was just happy to have me home again when in reality he was probably just trying to warn me of a brain tumor or something. He's over there spelling out CAT SCAN with his kibbles...

A Batch of Disappointment

You know when you're pretty good at making something so you feel pretty confident before people come over? I was baking cookies for our small group yesterday. Basic chocolate chip cookies, I've made them hundreds of times before. Usually they turn out really well when it's just my husband and kids at home and they get eaten without anyone stopping long enough to admire them. But when you have people over? That's when the bread burns and the lasagna is watery and the cookies come out all flat and weird and it's painfully obvious that you don't know what you're doing in life.

Cover those puppies with some ice cream and serve them anyway, that's what I say.

Social Skills and Bachelor Classes

Excuse me, your homeschooledness is showing again...

Taking all four kids to the store is an interesting prospect these days. Noah used to be quite content sitting in the front of the cart. I could let him sit them and hold Tali in a wrap but she gets so hot it's uncomfortable for both of us. So Tali sits in front and Noah sits in the main section, wreaking small havoc on the groceries as they are placed in the cart. Once we reach the produce aisle, he is let free. Exhilarating for him, exhausting for me.

A sweet potato! Grapes! Sprinkler system on over the vegetables! Guacamole mix! I love everything!

After the harrowing 15 minutes in the produce section, he is corralled to the check out lines. Or what is known as toddler hell. Candy on one side, toys on the other and nothing at all for sad, poor Noah. He clutches the 3 pack of Matchbox cars to his chest and I tell him we can get them for Christmas. He has no sense of calendar or time and deep down I know this but I still tell him.

This past week we were being checked out and I was making small talk to the cashier, a girl around 20 or so. She asked the kids "Are you skipping school today?"

(People ask this all the time. Listen, if we were having a skip day, grocery shopping at Walmart is not where we would go.)

Jack replied that they were homeschooled.

The look appeared on the cashier's face. Eyes slightly widened. Thoughts racing in their heads "My goodness, I had no idea."  "Where are the denim jumpers?" "Why is this mom buying wine - and a box of it, no less?"

She then told my kids "It always looks so cool in the movies (what movies?) but I would hate to be with my mom all day."

Thank you for that.

Then she said to me "How will they meet people?"

Hello??? 

We're at the store...talking to you.

She asked them what grade Jack and Kate were in and they told her 2nd and 1st. She jokingly asked Noah what grade he was in. Jack replied "He's just learning how to behave in the world. He's only been here a couple years." Then he pats Noah on the head and says "He's learning to be self-conscious."

She looks at me and says "Yup, he's homeschooled."

Walking Around

We went for a walk today. Kate made sure she was appropriately cute.

You know how you have an idea of how something is supposed to be? Like when you go to Disneyland and expect it to be like a commercial - everyone laughing and holding hands, riding rollercoasters, fireworks, Mickey picks you a flower and bashfully hands it to you? And then you get there and the water is $6 and people are complaining of the sun in their eyes, the lines are ridiculous, and Mickey is making obscene gestures at Minnie.

That's what going on a walk with kids is like. Or really anything, for that matter. The older two were trying to race each other, strollers up on two wheels rounding a ditch. Someone was burning leaves and the smoke was irritating everyone. One house has a pack, literally a pack, of hunting dogs who get all Miley Cyrus crazy when people walk by.

You get home and everyone's all grumpy. Endorphins my foot.

Bachelor Classes and Om

The professor of the nursing bachelor classes is very sweet and has a lot of interesting ideas on stress. Once before a test, she had everyone hold a rock and transfer their worries to the rock.

Yeah.

This past Tuesday we began the class with a tai chi routine. Nothing like starting off the class with an acute loss of dignity. Later we wrote down 3 things we wanted to have more of and 3 things we wanted to get rid of. We then inhaled while raising our arms and receiving those things and then exhaled the stuff we didn't want.

Except I got confused so in my mind I said things like "I receive body fat and I get rid of joy. NO WAIT! I didn't mean it - I take it back!"

Now I'm all stressed.

This and That and Soup

First off, Talitha is doing well. She and the other kids are all doing great with each other. Sure, there is the occasional tug-of-war over mom but it does make me feel super popular. Talitha will be sitting next to me on the couch. As long as she's touching me in some way, she's happy. Noah will spot her touching me and all of a sudden he loves me dearly, even though for the majority of the time he doesn't seem to notice me at all. I am the giver of juice and that's about it. So he'll pile on me and lay his head on my shoulder like he actually loves me. She will squawk and try to edge him out. They are both fighting over my affection and I think "I finally know how the cool kids feel."

Yesterday the kids played in the pool. Toby killed a snake, which he was quite proud of. It seemed like a harmless garden snake, which was very sad. We watched a toad hop along and ate fresh figs from our tree. Good things.

The marks on the fence? That's me with the lawnmower.

Mmm, figs!

Today I had planned to make cauliflower soup and biscuits and take some to my bestie, who just had her fourth baby. Noah did not sleep at all for naptime but I had to run to the store for ingredients this afternoon because I am nothing if not a good planner of time. Tali was fussy so I carried her in the sling. Noah sat in the cart and rubbed his eyes and generally looked stoned. At one point, I was wearing Tali and pushing Noah and making threatening remarks about behavior to Jack while Katie sadly nodded her head at him, like she was disappointed in his choices. It was around that time that someone I knew turned around the corner and ran into us. From threatening my kids through clenched teeth to a very bright "Hi, how are you? How are we doing? Oh, just fine - couldn't be better!"

Says the mom with a clingy sweaty baby on her hip, a red-eyed toddler in the cart and two young kids, both of whom are probably scouting the crowds for a nicer mom. "Look at the juice she's buying. No preservatives, organic, and each fruit picked gently in the moonlight. That's the one."

I got home around 4 pm. Here's a rundown of me making soup tonight:

-I browned the butter in the pans and chopped the veggies. I'm making a triple batch, one for my friend and two for us. Lots of math. Which was probably my first mistake.

-Realized that I only bought two heads of cauliflower when I needed three. Why did I think I already had one? Looked in the veggie drawer - oh. That's a cabbage. So my family got a nice mix of cauliflower and cabbage in the soup. They both grow in the ground. Similar enough. 

-I forgot to buy chicken broth. I have one box, which is 4 cans. I need 24. So I googled 'Chicken broth substitute.' Among them is white wine. So I rummage through the cupboard. How about a wine cooler?"

-Big kudos to me that I remembered that chicken broth has a lot of sodium so if I was just using water and boullion, I would have to use salt. Sprinkled liberally throughout cooking. It was after I dropped the meal off at my friend's that I noticed the salt shaker was closed. I do that so the kids can sprinkle away without actually using any salt. So...not much in the seasoning department.

-I made some biscuits in my beloved cast iron skillet. I placed the skillet on the counter after the biscuits were done. Minutes later I saw that the milk lid was sticking out under the pan. I lifted the pan up. The one that minutes ago was in a 450 degree oven. Lid melted. Fingers burned. I drove the whole way to my friend's house with my hand in front of the air conditioner vent to cool it off.

Later I carried Noah and Tali to the bathtub, as they were both covered in broth and biscuit crumbs. As I passed by the mirror, I noticed that my one-day-old haircut was not quite what it was yesterday. My side swept bangs have now feathered. I've got a popular haircut. It's just 30 years late. 

Then Talitha had an unfortunate accident in the tub. We got the rubber duckies out just in time. She clenched her teeth when I tried to brush them and Noah stuck one of her flower petals from her towel in his mouth and pulled her head over til she screamed.

Stick a fork in this day. It's done.