Taking all four kids to the store is an interesting prospect these days. Noah used to be quite content sitting in the front of the cart. I could let him sit them and hold Tali in a wrap but she gets so hot it's uncomfortable for both of us. So Tali sits in front and Noah sits in the main section, wreaking small havoc on the groceries as they are placed in the cart. Once we reach the produce aisle, he is let free. Exhilarating for him, exhausting for me.
A sweet potato! Grapes! Sprinkler system on over the vegetables! Guacamole mix! I love everything!
After the harrowing 15 minutes in the produce section, he is corralled to the check out lines. Or what is known as toddler hell. Candy on one side, toys on the other and nothing at all for sad, poor Noah. He clutches the 3 pack of Matchbox cars to his chest and I tell him we can get them for Christmas. He has no sense of calendar or time and deep down I know this but I still tell him.
This past week we were being checked out and I was making small talk to the cashier, a girl around 20 or so. She asked the kids "Are you skipping school today?"
(People ask this all the time. Listen, if we were having a skip day, grocery shopping at Walmart is not where we would go.)
Jack replied that they were homeschooled.
The look appeared on the cashier's face. Eyes slightly widened. Thoughts racing in their heads "My goodness, I had no idea." "Where are the denim jumpers?" "Why is this mom buying wine - and a box of it, no less?"
She then told my kids "It always looks so cool in the movies (what movies?) but I would hate to be with my mom all day."
Thank you for that.
Then she said to me "How will they meet people?"
Hello???
We're at the store...talking to you.
She asked them what grade Jack and Kate were in and they told her 2nd and 1st. She jokingly asked Noah what grade he was in. Jack replied "He's just learning how to behave in the world. He's only been here a couple years." Then he pats Noah on the head and says "He's learning to be self-conscious."
She looks at me and says "Yup, he's homeschooled."
Walking Around
We went for a walk today. Kate made sure she was appropriately cute.
You know how you have an idea of how something is supposed to be? Like when you go to Disneyland and expect it to be like a commercial - everyone laughing and holding hands, riding rollercoasters, fireworks, Mickey picks you a flower and bashfully hands it to you? And then you get there and the water is $6 and people are complaining of the sun in their eyes, the lines are ridiculous, and Mickey is making obscene gestures at Minnie.
That's what going on a walk with kids is like. Or really anything, for that matter. The older two were trying to race each other, strollers up on two wheels rounding a ditch. Someone was burning leaves and the smoke was irritating everyone. One house has a pack, literally a pack, of hunting dogs who get all Miley Cyrus crazy when people walk by.
You get home and everyone's all grumpy. Endorphins my foot.
Bachelor Classes and Om
The professor of the nursing bachelor classes is very sweet and has a lot of interesting ideas on stress. Once before a test, she had everyone hold a rock and transfer their worries to the rock.
Yeah.
This past Tuesday we began the class with a tai chi routine. Nothing like starting off the class with an acute loss of dignity. Later we wrote down 3 things we wanted to have more of and 3 things we wanted to get rid of. We then inhaled while raising our arms and receiving those things and then exhaled the stuff we didn't want.
Except I got confused so in my mind I said things like "I receive body fat and I get rid of joy. NO WAIT! I didn't mean it - I take it back!"
Now I'm all stressed.
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