A couple weeks ago I was talking to a coworker of mine at work (peers sound like schoolchildren: colleagues sound like professors). Which makes me realize that I apparently have a profound issue with people-related terms. Anyway, this particular person is highly educated and I enjoy having conversations with him about education and healthcare. He had heard that we were adopting and began to ask me questions. It's always a tough line to walk with personal issues like this. I could talk about how God called us to adoption and how we want to love the way He loves and that we want our kids to be passionate about caring for the hurting and so on. But that doesn't translate well to some conversations. People's eyes tend to glaze over a bit, depending on their beliefs.
Some people are just plain against adoption and are at best confused why we would be doing this. Right off the bat, I could tell this would be one such conversation. The raising of the eyebrows, the slightly patronizing smile - the kind you would give a child who told you he had a million dollars or some such absurdity. This coworker told me that when he sees the commercials of starving kids in Africa, he thinks about how the economy couldn't possibly support all those kids. The world doesn't have enough resources. These circumstances, difficult and sad as they are, are just nature's way of controlling the population.
In theory, I agree with him. Plague, famine, flood, war - population control. Making sure things don't get unbalanced, sure.
But you know what? It's pretty easy to say that when we're warm and safe and fed. There we were, two people in a first world nation. Educated, gainfully employed. Sipping tea and discussing Plato's Allegory of the Cave. And discussing the injustice of the world in economy textbook terms.
All the while, a 7 year old in India was prostituting herself at the behest of a trusted adult.
A pair of young siblings combed through a Thai landfill to live off of other people's trash.
A Romanian boy with Down Syndrome has been heavily sedated for most of his life and is wiling away a sad existence in a government asylum.
What would they say about population control and survival of the fittest?
I hope it always breaks my heart. I hope my voice always catches in my throat when I talk about adoption and orphans and God's redemption story for all of us. I hope I don't get so comfortable in my middle class American life that I can't see the suffering that continually lies low, right on the horizon.
This same person made a comment on how I was so unbearably kind and caring and sacrificial that he could hardly stand it.
I don't feel kind or caring or sacrificial.
But I'm following a God who is. And He is leading us on this amazing journey where we stop thinking about ourselves all the time.
One little tiny slice of the population at a time.
I never have wanted children (well, there was that brief period during my OB rotation in med school where I lost my mind and thought I could carry a baby and didn't think about the following decades). However, the few times that Marc and I brought up the topic, the only thing that even came close to making sense was adoption. Having children borne of our own genetics, or at least limiting ourselves to that option, seemed a mark of amazing egotism. The only reason not to choose to save a child from life in an orphanage or foster care would be that we felt our own genetics somehow beckoned to be perpetuated. I love following your journey. It reminds me that maybe mankind has a chance after all. Your kindness, caring, and sacrifice inspire me. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOB rotation seems to have that effect on people. I love how thoughtful you are about your life. Most people have kids because it's the accepted thing to do without really thinking about the implications or the commitment. I love having kids biologically but I got to the point where I thought 'You know, the world doesn't need more of my gene pool (as fabulous as it is), there are already kids here who need me.' You inspire me too. Every time I feel the urge to gorge my emotions I think 'What would Jenn do?' The answer is always deadlift. :)
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