Random Ramblings

Vaseline

Those of you who have read my blog know about the unique relationship Noah has with Vaseline. This boy loves the feel of it and the dapper effect it has on his luxurious mane:

We had another Vaseline incident recently. You might be wondering why I still buy it. Probably the most relevant answer is that I'm not the brightest bulb in the...wait, what is the end of that? Package of bulbs? Multi-light ceiling fan? Whatever. The point is I'm not it. My lips get really dry and cracked and Vaseline is the best thing for them. I have to carry lip gloss in my purse and my scrubs pocket at work. If I forget it at work, I have to rely on a little tube of lanolin in my work bag that's left over from my breastfeeding days. The problem with lanolin is it looks like I've just dipped my lips in Crisco. Plus, it's probably unsettling for patients. They're telling me their story of congestive heart failure and I'm slathering my lips with a tube labeled 'Mother Mabel's Nipple Ointment' or something.

Anyway,  I recently picked up another container of Vaseline and when I opened it, I realized it was the baby powder scent. I've done this before. I buy the container labeled "fresh," thinking that it smells like a meadow or a light spring rain, only to find it smells like baby powder. If I slather my lips with it, my face smells like a clean baby butt all day and I'm just not crazy about it. Not wanting to waste my $2 jar of Wal-line, I put it in Noah's room for diaper ointment. He got into it and shared the joy with Talitha. This time he didn't put it into his hair, but came to me with a handful of it to show me. He's growing up, I suppose.

All the Pretty People

A couple days ago I ran to Walmart with all four of the youngins. I planned on picking up a box of hair dye so my hair was pulled back into a greasy ponytail (hair can't be freshly washed when dyed). But it's Walmart so no matter, right? You can safely assume that I ran into approximately 41 people, all of whom wanted to see Tali and chat, which meant lots of direct eye contact with me. And wouldn't you know it, I run into a very pretty friend of mine. Clothes all nice (like clean and stuff), tasteful jewelry, hair perfectly highlighted.

There she was, all sparkling.

There I was, hair all greasy. I haven't found my tweezers since China so I look like the car wash guy from Breaking Bad.

That was a fun time.

Later that day I did something monumentally stupid. I poured the little container that comes in the hair dye box into the big one with the applicator tip. I applied it to my hair, waited the obligatory 30 minutes and rinsed it out. As I was rinsing it out, I realized that there was no color. That's right, I didn't put the color into the applicator bottle.

While I was sitting on the bed with Tali, waiting for my freshly not dyed hair to dry, Noah came over with a container of deodorant. He asked "Arm?" I nodded and he began to gently coat my entire arm with the deodorant. My hair might be grey but gosh darn it, my left arm smelled pretty darn good.

The Days Are Full

I'm still trying to find the balance in my days. I have to homeschool and keep the house clean (and by clean, I mean not eligible for an episode of Hoarders, at least not the first round of call-backs), I have to keep up with my Bachelor of Nursing classes and figure out what Tali needs from me. Everyday I make sure I spend time interacting with her, being near her. She feels so much safer if I'm nearby and she's able to come back to me. Her legs are getting enough fat on them that I'm able to squish them, which is just lovely. At least a couple times a day, I pick her up and hold her close. I kiss her cheek and leave my lips there for awhile. I can feel her body relax and her heartbeat slow down. She keeps her face next to mine for minutes at a time. It's unusual for a child that age to want to be held that long. She wants to be held by her mom like only a child who has experienced life without one does. I just hold her and hold her and hold her. Sometimes she will sigh and I know it is a sigh of contentment and it feels like my heart is going to burst with joy for her. She knows. She knows she is safe with me, with us. Today she hooked her little arm around my neck and laid her head down on my shoulder. It was such a small but monumental step and I couldn't stop the tears from falling on her sweet little head.

In less sentimental news, the days are filled with two toddlers. Like twins, I imagine. Except one is new and vulnerable and one is basically the size of King Kong. Sometimes Noah will see her sitting nicely and slowly push her over. This is followed by an emphatic "Uh Oh!"

Like he cares.

Often they will irritate each other to the point of tears and it's such a ridiculous thing that all I can do is laugh. Through my tears.